A Letter To My Son

I can remember you running around in your walker hitting walls and crashing through the front door to get outside. 

I can remember the first time I took you fishing when you were 7, and you caught a 3 pound catfish. After that I knew you were hooked. I knew I had a fishing partner for life.

I can remember watching you play baseball. You would get a hit and then look to see if I was watching. Thank God I was there watching and cheering you on.

I can remember when you went to the prom. What a shy and handsome young man you were.

I can remember when you graduated from high school. I saw you were turning into a fine man.

I can remember when you graduated college to start a career in turbine blade repair. I was so proud of you. 

I can remember when you sent pictures of you and your friends working high up on the blades. And hanging out after work with them, and site seeing on your days off.

And I can remember the last time we went fishing together. We both proclaimed that it was a beautiful day for fishing, if not perfect. We continued our never ending debate on who was the best fisherman. I always new it was you but never said so.

                                                   But... As we talked and fished

I had no idea then, that in just a few short months I would be writing your obituary.

I had no idea then, that the guys who you worked with and hung out with would one day be carrying your body in a casket to your grave.

I had no idea then, on that day in the kitchen, when you turned and walked away to go down the stairs to your room would be the last time I would see you alive. If I had known, I would have begged and pleaded with God that if He needed someone from our family that I would have been willing to give my life instead. I've lived my life. You were just starting yours.

I had no idea that such pain, grief and sorrow existed on this earth until I lost you.

How I Long to hear your voice. How I long to see you walk into a room and crack a joke. How I long to see your name come up on my caller ID when you called for advice or just to talk. And most of all how I long to hear you say, "Hey dad, lets go fishing." I'll never have that again.

I remember when you were a baby and I stood at your crib staring down at you with a smile. You stared up at me and smiled back.

                                                                        But...

I had no idea then, that in just a few short years I would be standing in a cemetery staring down at your grave.

                                                        I Miss and Love you son

                                                                          Dad